His Porn, Her Pain: Confronting America's PornPanic with Honest Talk About Sex

Written by an award-winning author and veteran sex therapist, this practical, innovative, and often passionate book addresses the explosion of pornography use, advises couples on defusing conflict about it, guides parents in helping their kids deal with it, advises people concerned about their use of it, and shows how honest talk about sex can resolve America's "porn panic."

When you first logged onto the Internet in the 1990s, did you ever wonder, "What do you suppose would happen if the United States were flooded with free, high-quality pornography?" We now know the answer, says Dr. Marty Klein, as this is exactly what took place 15 years ago.

Written by an award-winning author and veteran sex therapist, this practical, innovative, and often passionate book addresses the explosion of pornography use, advises couples on defusing conflict about it, guides parents in helping their kids deal with it, advises people concerned about their use of it, and shows how honest talk about sex can resolve America's "porn panic."

So what did happen when Internet porn flooded America? The rates of sexual assault, divorce, and child molestation declined. And yet various religious groups, politicians, some feminists, anti-trafficking activists, and many marriage counselors talk unceasingly about the damage porn viewing is doing to our society. They have created a "PornPanic" that has demonized the recreation of some 60 million Americans.

Americans are always ready for new reasons to feel guilty and ashamed of their sexuality, and Internet porn is the newest reason. Wives and girlfriends worry that they can't compete with it; teens use it as a misguided substitute for sex education, often disturbed by intense adults-only imagery; and psychologically vulnerable people get caught up in hours of compulsive porn surfing every night, feeling isolated and inadequate as a result.

Fortunately for his many readers, however, using clear reasoning, clinical expertise, and political savvy, Klein shows that for most people, porn is not the real problem. With the experience gained from 34 years of doing therapy―that's 35,000 sessions―Klein asks a simple but profound question: when we talk about porn, what are we really talking about?

This book eases readers' minds as Klein addresses common concerns and debunks common myths while identifying what we should be concerned about. Most importantly, the author explains how we can heal America's obsession with porn by engaging in honest talk about sex―something he knows is neither simple nor easy. The text includes sample conversations to help adults talk to each other about pornography, and suggestions for parents on how to talk to their kids about porn―healthy discussions to help their kids develop "Porn Literacy." This book offers honest, thorough, expert information desperately needed by a nation of people driven to panic about pornography.

• Provides the only book to discuss and resolve conflicts about pornography without demonizing porn or porn users

• Confronts a common source of conflict in marriage and anxiety in parenting―and presents innovative, practical ways to resolve these problems using down-to-earth language

• Shows why there's no such thing as "porn addiction," explains why it really matters what we call it, exposes the billion-dollar industry behind this failed concept, and offers real insight and hope for people concerned about their involvement with pornography

• Shows how new technologies are always adapted for sexual purposes―making the Internet's application to pornography a technology issue as much as a sexual issue

• Identifies―and corrects―the most common myths and junk science about pornography

• Describes the politics through which progressive feminists and the Religious Right have wound up in bed together opposing pornography―by re-branding porn from an immorality problem to a public health crisis

• Explains how America's lack of real sex education and frank talk from adults leaves young people looking at porn for sex information―and what they're actually learning from it

• Relieves parental anxiety with easy-to-follow advice on talking with kids about porn, including conversations about youth "sexting"

• Appeals to general readers: educators, psychologists, clergy, and social workers; and policymakers, scholars, students, and researchers in psychology, law, public policy, communications, and media studies